Thursday, April 8, 2010
Day 2
So you were asked to be a Groomsman...
What now? Well, your role is to help your good friend through what can be a very nerve-racking day. First things first, you’ll want to attend all pre-wedding festivities like the engagement party, co-ed shower and help the Best Man plan the bachelor party. Bringing a gift to these events is good etiquette too. Next, you’ll have to rent a tux or suit or buy whatever wedding attire was chosen. Most of the time the groomsmen attire is coordinated and rented or purchased from the same company, but if, for some reason, the groomsmen are not all renting from the same company, make sure you're not the odd man out with the cheapest-looking suit. Research your options and try to find a rental company not too far from you to make returning painless. As any wedding guest, it is proper etiquette to purchase a wedding present, perhaps go in on a gift with other groomsmen.
As the wedding date draws nearer, there will be a rehearsal to attend, so you’ll know just what to do the day of. On the day of the wedding, before the ceremony begins you may be asked to usher guests to their seats and pass out programs. At the rehearsal you should be given a time to arrive at the ceremony site, but if not a at least 45 minutes early should be fine.
During the ceremony you may escort a bridesmaid in the procession and recession. And at the reception, you may be introduced with the bridesmaid you escorted.
Sounds great, but how much is it going to cost me?
Because every wedding party is different, and bachelor parties could range from am guys night out at a local pub to weekend in Vegas, the costs are quite different. Below I’ve just listed a ball-park figure of what you might be spending. On the bright side, groomsmen get off easy compared to the bridesmaids. Without any travel expenses, you’re looking at roughly $400.
Pre-wedding party gifts: $50-$150
Tux Rental: $50-$200
Haircut: $20-50
Gift for the Wedding: $50-$100
Bachelor Party: $100+
Lucky You!... you’re the Best Man.
The best man is not only the leader of the groomsmen pack, but also the grooms right-hand man throughout the whole wedding process. You have most of the same responsibilities listed above for the groomsmen, like attending the pre-wedding parties. At the rehearsal dinner the Best Man may be asked to give a toast. This is not the toast to stress over... it’s just family & close friends and a light-hearted, short & sweet toast will be just fine. As the Best Man you may be asked to help the groom choose and rent (or buy) wedding attire and coordinate the other groomsmen's rentals. You may be expected to arrange accommodations for out-of-town groomsmen as well.
Now for the fun part, you’ll be the master mind (with the help of the groomsmen) behind the bachelor party. Expenses are usually shared between the groomsmen, but ultimately you’re picking up the bill for whatever costs are not accounted for.
The day of the wedding, you’ll help ensure your buddy is lookin’ good and you might ride with the him to the ceremony site. Once there, you’ll want to make sure the groomsmen are all together and ready before the ceremony begins. As the grooms right-hand man you might be asked to perform a task or two for the groom or the bride's mother. During the ceremony, you’ll stand beside the groom and keep the bride's ring until vows are exchanged. After the ceremony, You will have the honor of signing the marriage license as a witness, along with the Maid of Honor.
At the reception, you may be announced with the maid of honor and you will give the first toast to the bride and groom at the reception. This may be the most nerve-racking part about being the Best Man, but just speak from the heart & check out my Tips on Toasting!
It will be up to you (with the help of the groomsmen) to collect any gifts brought to the reception and arrange a plan for getting them to the newlyweds. At some point during the reception, grab the other groomsmen and the bridesmaids and go to town decorating the getaway mobile... tin cans, streamers, the works! If there is not an arranged driver taking the newlyweds to their wedding-night hotel or airport, this is the responsibility of the Best Man. So, you’ll have to watch your alcohol intake. And after the wedding, it’s nice to return the groom's tuxedo to the tux shop or if it belongs to the groom, take it to the cleaners.
Sounds great, how much?
You have the same cost as a groomsmen with the addition of any extra costs of the bachelor party. So Maybe $500 is a good ballpark figure.
Pre-wedding party gifts: $50-$150
Tux Rental: $50-$200
Haircut: $20-40
Gift for the Wedding: $50-$100
Bachelor Party: $200+
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